Archive for May, 2010|Monthly archive page

Job Posting

In Uncategorized on May 28, 2010 at 12:26 pm

I just got an email for a “Traffic Manager” opportunity.
It starts with, “Are you putting your passion to work?”

Are they kidding?


Quiet time

In Uncategorized on May 28, 2010 at 11:54 am

Why is it that your inner voice speaks loudest when you’re trying to enjoy the silence?

I sit here in front of my living room windows watching the neighborhood wake up. The sky is blue. The trees are a bright, newly minted green. The whir of the subway accompanies my thoughts. And they keep coming at me, faster than the morning traffic.

Shhh… how do those monks do it?

What does a single, misanthropic, soltitude-embracing girl have to do to get a little peace and quiet?

Time Heals All Bad Moods

In Uncategorized on May 27, 2010 at 8:22 pm

I just re-read my post from May 11th.
15 days and my outlook has changed–who cares if even momentarily.

Time does heal all moods.





Do what you love,

In Uncategorized on May 27, 2010 at 7:09 pm

the rest will________.

a) grate on your nerves
b) age you like cheese
c) spam you
d) require a boat load more money
e) no seriously, 10x more than d
f) test your patience
g) make you sob like a sorry loser
h) all of the above

What’s your answer?

Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons.

In Uncategorized on May 26, 2010 at 12:17 pm

I have always been a planner (to the annoyance of many people in my life.)

But since I quit my job, most days are a toss up. I can’t look too far ahead in the future. I’m even learning to not try.

More importantly, and amazingly enough, I’m learning to be comfortable here. I am learning to live in the moment, not by zen choice but by slap-in-the-face necessity.

It’s like embracing a seize-the-day mentality only because you are hog tied to doing it. Carpé Diem, or else!

Dreamless awake

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I have had this dream to live in France for as long as I can remember. For the last ten plus years I’ve worked doggedly to make it happen. (Anyone who knows me knows “doggedly” is an understatement.) And it hasn’t.

I wrestle with the idea that I’m holding onto it because the very nature of it being unreachable keeps me moving forward. I am tenacious to the core, and this shiny object in front of me keeps me on my toes. Don’t get me wrong, I am a passionate Francophile, but maybe that’s enough. Maybe I cannot walk away from it because, in a sense, it’s the one solid thing before me. Though I haven’t been able to get there, I’m pretty sure the country will still be there tomorrow.

Today I tell myself there’s a reason dreams come in our sleep. They come effortlessly. When you’ve taken them as far as you can go, you wake up.

It’s been more than ten years… I think I have to wake up now. I choose to.

What is Me-time?

In Uncategorized on May 20, 2010 at 5:29 am

Me-time is sitting here writing in my blog after an umpteen hour workday because I can finally write what I want to write without anybody’s input.

(8.5 hours later…)

I started this posting at 1:30 in the morning, then my laptop battery died.

I took it as a sign.

Me-time also includes a healthy amount of sleep.

The chains of non-comittment

In Uncategorized on May 12, 2010 at 12:26 am

Ironic, isn’t it?

I chose to go down a path without a definite direction and because of that uncertainty, I cannot move.

(It’s a good thing I posted that Ray LaMontagne song over there. Easy access to some consoling. Good job.)

Okay, enough of my drivel

In Uncategorized on May 11, 2010 at 1:37 am

Who am I talking to anyway?

Apparently, I am my own motivational speaker. And for some silly reason, I’m staying up for this late night infomercial. Because this nifty gadget not only slices and dices and makes everything shiny like new, it will also preserve my youth, make me skinny and improve my vocabulary. In French.

The Annalizafier. Yours free for only $29.95, shipping & handling.

This is not a dress rehearsal

In Uncategorized on May 11, 2010 at 12:48 am

Not to be trite, but I’m reminding myself once again, that the curtain has lifted and it’s time to go on.

When I was in a theatre repertory company in my way younger years, I remember the heat of the blinding lights when first walking out on stage. I remember blanking out and my mouth still reciting something–unsure if it made any sense, or if I could recover the lines or if I totally screwed up.

The point is, in those instances, I just kept going and ignored the fact–or pretended to ignore–that I got lost, or that I was off-script or that I looked like an idiot. That hackneyed line about life not being a dress rehearsal. That equally over-used phrase that all the world’s a stage. That cheesiness? Is yours to interpret, toss out or take to heart. I say, the analogy works. Rebound from your mistakes, be blind to that ‘oh shit’ feeling and just keep going.

Like theatre where every show is different and feels new again, every day in your unscripted personal story is brand new. The fear can take hold, or not. You can stick to the familiar or try something new. You can perform that carefully blocked scene or piss your director off and do what you want. Why? It’s live. And the choices are infinite. And they’re yours.

Get up. Go out there. And take center stage. Because if you screw up. No one usually notices, and no one really cares, but you.

That’s my soliloquoy. And I’m sticking to it.